Category Archives: Parenting

Learning New Skills

When we are trying to change our behavior or mindset we have a time period where we freak out. We don’t have enough coping tools in our toolbox to make changes even if we desperately want to make them. If people just tell us what not to do, we feel lost and desperately want help to know what to do instead.
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Beyond Reflecting Feelings

Reflecting feelings is valuable, but we cannot always stop there. Often we have to move on to holding people accountable through boundaries. Continue reading

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Reflecting Feelings

Reflecting feelings is the most valuable interpersonal skill I’ve learned. I first learned of its value when I was developing my Gentle Parenting toolbox. I was continually amazed at how much more quickly I could defuse my children’s Big Feelings simply by giving them the words to describe their intense feelings. Continue reading

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A Parable for 2016

I can love her enough to hold her to a higher standard than her base desires would have her pursue. Continue reading

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Subordinates and Emotions

Have you noticed that a certain stripe of Christianity is uncomfortable with feelings? More precisely: it is uncomfortable with subordinates feeling anything except happiness… and since women and children are always subordinates, they especially are out-of-luck. That may be overstated. … Continue reading

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Shame and the Good News, Ministry of Reality Monday, July 26, 2010

I wish I could permanently eliminate shaming from my parenting. When I say shame, I’m not talking about feeling guilt for wrong-doing or feeling ashamed by bad behavior… I’m talking about someone else shaming you. I know from personal experience … Continue reading

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